Anyaa H'redulla

"He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep - awaken him." Kahlil Gibran

Anyaa's Story

My story begins in Bath, England where I was born and raised. The first half of my life was much like many others. My childhood was largely uneventful until I married at the age of nineteen and immigrated to Canada a few months later. The first of my three daughters was born shortly afterwards, but the marriage was abusive as my husband was an alcoholic and only lasted a little more than four years.

My divorce was followed by a return to England where my daughter and I lived until she was ten years old and we decided to go back to Canada. Shortly afterwards, I met and married husband #2 and gave birth to two more daughters. That marriage lasted almost eleven years, but also ended in divorce. 

The events that precipitated that event are recorded in my article The Question. From that moment on, my life was never the same. In fact, I feel I grew into an entirely different person and even changed my legal name

The Question was the commencement of my spiritual journey - when I started to live my life consciously. Prior to that time, I had been living unconsciously... as do most people in this world. Thus began the most exciting (if not challenging) part of my life, which is proving to be far more eventful than the first half! 

The ten years following my divorce were fraught with huge changes. They began when I started Transcendental Meditation, followed shortly thereafter by reading an incredible little book called Living in the Light by Sanaya Roman. So many of my questions were answered in that book, yet it also brought other unresolved issues to light.

In an attempt to discover the answers, I attended meditation groups, read everything I could lay my hands on about spirituality and personal growth, followed various New Age practices such as drinking coloured solar water and using crystals and semi-precious stones, learned Reiki (I'm a Reiki Master), was ordained a priest in the Order of Melchezadek, was opened to Subud, attended workshops and courses, had channeled readings, joined Al-Anon, and on and on.

My appetite for information seemed insatiable... as if I was making up for lost time... and it became a period of intense learning and discovery. 

The following ten years, however, became opportunities to assimilate and apply all that I had learned. This was the decade when I finally overcame codependency (one of my greatest challenges), made "The Decision" you can read about below, was introduced to the Law of Attraction, changed my name, learned about Ho'oponopono, read Eckhart Tolle's books, plus a host of other incredible experiences.

As you may know already if you've read the Home page of this site, I have also been plagued by poverty for the better part of my life. Although my second husband and I had a relatively high income, we were always broke and after the divorce my financial situation worsened.

A short time after separating, I was laid off my computer operator job and ended up buying a small word processing business. It paid my expenses - usually - but in an effort to increase my income and save money for my retirement, I got into a couple of additional businesses which eventually resulted in bankruptcy and I almost lost my word processing business.

After seven and a half years though, I decided to make a change. I had done my best to expand and grow my business, but it was just another example of nothing working out. It had become getting harder and harder to be passionate about it so I made the decision to sell and find something different. It had served me well, but I knew it was time to move on.

Career Change

After selling my business and paying off some outstanding debts, I decided I'd had my fill of working at office/computer/bookkeeping-type jobs. As Robert Kiyosaki points out in his video about the Cashflow Quadrants, there was no way to amass any kind of wealth in those occupations. Plus, after thirty-five years in those fields, I longed to do something completely different. My new occupation also had to meet two very important criteria:

  1. It had to be fulfilling (I became bored once I’d mastered the initial learning curve of a new occupation).

  2. It had to be something that would provide an income for my current needs and for my retirement. 

In an effort to accomplish these objectives, I tried several different vocations: I became a real estate agent (and failed miserably after almost two years); I taught English in Thailand for six months; I helped a friend write a book (and wrote one myself called Joy Makers: My Tools for Self-Empowerment); I worked in factories for temp agencies; I tried a couple of different MLM opportunities - all over a period of approximately five years.

There were many times when I became very jaded about my goal as it seemed virtually impossible for me to make any significant money no matter what I did. Nothing worked out financially, although I gained a lot of experience and loved Thailand... especially the weather!  

At one point I had serious health challenges which forced me to go on welfare as there was no way I could work at anything. With a severe case of sciatica, I couldn't stand up or even sit at the computer! In fact, for a while, the only way I could get around was on my hands and knees. It was a very bleak time for me in every way.

When I was able, I also did a variety of odd jobs to make ends meet, such as painting furniture for a friend, dog/house-sitting, doing yard work, etc. All the time I was searching for answers to my lack of prosperity and reading whatever I could.

Still, I never gave up!

I applied for retail work at one point when I was feeling desperate, but my age was probably not an asset and I didn't get hired. Even a part-time job would have helped  while I pursued other interests :). I took it as a sign that retail was not the answer and that I really needed to do something different... but what?

It became painfully obvious to me that I still had nothing in the way of a retirement fund and time was running out! I needed to find a solution that didn’t involve working for anyone else in any capacity - and find it fast! As Robert Kiyosaki recommends, I had to get out of the "E" quadrant completely. Besides, I longed for the freedom to set my own hours and work for myself.

How was I to go about remedying my situation? How was I to do it?

I asked myself that question over and over. I meditated on it, prayed on it, thought about it, but I never seemed to get any answer. Perhaps I simply didn't hear - or didn't want to hear!

The Decision

Finally, I decided that the solution for me was to reject the conventional employment path completely and the day I made The Decision is forever etched in my memory. 

The phone rang one morning and I knew it was a temp agency with an assignment for me – probably in some factory or another as I had stipulated that I didn’t want office work. But, at that moment it didn't matter what the assignment was. I was short of cash at the time (as usual), but I didn't even care how much they were paying!

When I picked up the phone, I told the agency I would no longer work for them!

My knees were shaking as I hung up the phone. It was a HUGE decision and one I didn't take lightly. How was I to create an income? What was I going to do? 

Scared as I was, part of me knew The Decision was a sign to the universe that I was willing to do whatever was needed to reach my goals and it felt right for me. Fortunately, I only had myself to support... and myself to blame if I failed!    

The Decision and my new beliefs about having a JOB (Just Over Broke) led me down many paths, but I always held onto my dream of not returning to the "E" quadrant. To me, getting a job would have been a cop-out, although I must admit that I did work part-time at a video store when times were particularly tough. 

Still, I never gave up!

In addition to my perseverance, there was something else in my favour: As mentioned earlier, for quite a few years I had been reading lots of books about financial matters (including the Rich Dad series by Robert Kiyosaki), personal development, and spirituality. This was when I was introduced to Wallace D. Wattles and his book The Science of Getting Rich based on the Law of Attraction

The book also prompted Rhonda Byrnes to make The Secret. Much has been written about this DVD and the law in recent times, so I won't go into it here, but if you're interested, there's more information here on my Joy Makers website. Suffice to say, it opened a whole new realm of investigation for me. But even THAT didn't help!

I watched the video dozens of times and followed all the suggestions religiously for many months, but the bottom line was: My monetary situation remained the same. Eventually, I learned there was something Joe Vitale (one of the stars of The Secret) calls ‘counter-intentions’ at work within me. These are unconscious beliefs that actually oppose what we say we want.

No matter how much I visualized and affirmed, I realized there was nothing I could change in my outer reality until I changed the underlying beliefs I clung to in my unconscious. It was at this point that Joe Vitale helped me out again. This time, he introduced Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono to the world in his book Zero Limits. Click on the link to read about this amazing Hawaiian practice.

With the financial assistance of a very good friend, I attended Dr. Hew Len's Ho'oponopono class in Montreal and immediately started practicing Ho'oponopono daily. That's when a shift began to take place. It was a slow process that continues to this day, but gradually I began clearing some of those unconscious beliefs or memories about money and prosperity.

There were insights that helped me on my journey. One was a vision of a past life as a monk where I had relinquished all my worldly goods and lived in a cold, stone cell in total poverty. At the time, I believed this was necessary for me to reach God, and that unconscious belief stayed with me into this lifetime.

I used a number of clearing methods as outlined in Joe Vitale's book Attractor Factor which is an extended version of Spiritual Marketing. Little by little my life changed and I started to experience more and more abundance in my life. In addition, synchronistic events took place that led me to opportunities along with the information necessary to put that information into practice.

There came a time when I felt drawn to use the Law of Attraction again, but this time there was a confidence within me that I had rarely felt before. Gratitude became a vital part of my day. I had always recognized the value of it, but except for a few occasions, I had found it difficult to truly connect with the feeling. Now, it is almost always there.

I cannot express to you how much of a difference this has made in my life. Doors have opened up that I never knew existed. Life is getting better and better all the time.

My story isn't over by any means. It continues day to day and I will continue to share my insights, ahas, and knowledge with you... if you allow me to. Please click on the link below if you would like to be part of this group of Perseverers who seek to live the life of their dreams.

©2008 www.AnyaaHredulla.com - This page was last updated on 06/20/08