Anyaa H'redulla

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"He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep - awaken him." Kahlil Gibran

Present Perfect

by Anyaa H'redulla

Perhaps you’re familiar with present perfect as a grammatical term, but I would like to offer a different perspective of these words - as in “the present is perfect.”

Now, before you scream at me that your present is anything BUT perfect, consider an event from your past that you judged to be 'bad or 'wrong' at the time, then think about the consequences of that experience. What unfolded as a result? What was the outcome? Is it possible that something 'good' transpired? At first, it may be difficult at accept that there was any 'good,' but I guarantee that if you look hard enough, you will ALWAYS find it. Something ALWAYS happens as a result of an experience that makes it perfect for you.

The first personal example that comes to my mind happened a few years ago. One morning, I woke up with some discomfort in my lower back. Within a couple of hours, the discomfort had escalated to the point where I couldn’t move without excruciating pain. The only way I could get around was by dragging myself across the floor. Raising my body to sit on the toilet was almost unbearable, and sitting on a chair or couch was impossible.

Walking was also out of the question, so I ate very little that day. It was far too painful to stand up and prepare food, and I could only manage a few minutes at a time. I swallowed some pain-killers, gathered some cushions around me, and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible on the floor. With the TV remote on one side of me and the telephone on the other, I managed to get through the day.

Sleep that night was fitful to say the least, but I managed to get a couple of hours in. The next day wasn’t any better. The pain was still unbearable, so one of my daughters came over to help. She took one look at me and carted me off to the Emergency Department of the local hospital, where we waited for almost ten hours to see a doctor and for them to examine me. They took x-rays, they poked, and they prodded. Their diagnosis was 'probably' sciatica. They gave me some drugs for the pain and referred me to my family doctor who referred me to a specialist for tests. Eventually I went to a physiotherapist who explained that I should do special exercises and avoid certain activities first thing in the morning – probably for the rest of my life.

At first blush, there doesn’t appear to be anything positive about this experience, but let me elaborate a little about my circumstances at that time. I had returned from Thailand a few months earlier and had made the decision not to work at a traditional office job. My boredom with office work was what sent me to Thailand in the first place! But, we all have to eat and pay for a roof over our head, so I had been working for a couple of temp agencies to tide me over until I came across the perfect job for me. I hadn’t the faintest idea what that would be, but I had faith in the Universe that it would materialize.

The only problem with temp work is that there are no benefits: No sick leave, no medical insurance, no drug plan. How was I going to pay my rent at the end of the month? My savings were nonexistent since my Thailand trip and my family were in no position to help out so my financial outlook was pretty dismal. My only recourse was… dare I say it?… WELFARE.

Just the word sent shivers down my spine! I had never received 'charity' in my life and even disliked unemployment insurance the couple of times I had been laid off work – even though I had made regular contributions. How was I ever going to accept welfare?

To cut a long story short, I was treated with dignity and respect by everyone at the local welfare office and I have nothing but praise for their help. Sure going into the building was tough on my pride. (Who would see me?) What would my bank say when they recognized the source of the funds paid into my account and realized I was on welfare? (As if they had someone checking!) How would I answer friends’ inquiries about what I was doing these days? It was a very humbling experience to say the least.

So what was perfect about it, you may ask. Nothing… at the time. Enduring pain, humiliation and guilt are not my idea of positive experiences. However, there was an up side to it all. As I was unable to sit for extended periods of time and therefore unable to work in traditional jobs, I was directed to a self-employment program that taught participants how to set-up their own business as well as the skills necessary to maintain it.

In the months prior to my sciatica episode, I had written my first book Joy Makers and had the brilliant idea of creating a business around it. I wrote up a proposal for my idea and was accepted into the program. As a result, I received impressive instruction from a wonderful business advisor/trainer who also became a personal friend. In addition to this friendship, I also benefited in other ways. Here are some of them:

• My new business advisor/friend generously invited me to participate in a private course she was teaching about creating your own life. This led to some wonderful revelations and was a turning point for me.

• She also introduced me to another wonderful friend who I would probably never have met otherwise.

• My book was eventually published.

• The experience I gained from publishing my own book, led to a meeting with another self-published author who also became a very good friend.

• This friend became my business partner in two different ventures.

• I now co-own a self-publishing service where we assist writers to become published authors, and another wellness business which provides healthier, safer products for families and the environment at very reasonable prices.

• I still maintain contact with many of the people I met on the business course and was able to network with many others.

These are just some of the consequences of that event. In addition to the above, one of my daughters who had been living in Pennsylvania, was prompted by my sciatica challenge to come back, and we continue to share a home. Since I had been missing her very much, I was overjoyed at her return as we get along very well. This relationship has proved to be a godsend to us both and we continue to grow from it.

I hope this account of a 'bad' incident has provided you with an example of the perfection of our experiences. Certainly I didn’t look upon it as a 'good' thing at the time but, in retrospect, a great many good things came about because of it… both the sciatica and my ensuing welfare episode.

There have been many other incidents where I can look back on a 'bad' experience and recognize the blessing that transpired as a result. In fact, I can't think of one single event that was not positive. So now, when something unwanted takes place, I look at it with the attitude that this too shall pass and I will eventually find the 'pearl within.'

For me, this is a much better way of looking at my life situation. For me, the present is ALWAYS perfect!