Anyaa H'redulla

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"He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep - awaken him." Kahlil Gibran

"The" Question

by Anyaa H'redulla

What prompts a defining moment in life? Are we always aware of its significance? Some events are definitely easier to identify than others, such as a graduation, or the birth of a child. Others are less obvious.

Take an innocent thought I happened to think more than twenty years ago. I was walking down the hallway at home when this innocuous little question popped into my head: "Is this all there is?" followed by: "There has to be something more!" Nothing precipitated it... that I can remember. It just arrived! 

To add a little perspective, I had been married a little more than ten years and, for all intents and purposes, would have classified it as a happy marriage. It wasn't perfect, but I loved my husband and I believed he loved me. We'd had our ups and downs as most couples do, but we'd weathered the worst and lived to tell the tale. I truly believed we would grow old together.

But this question suddenly burst upon my mind totally unsolicited. My life seemed to stretch before me with a sameness that echoed the past few years. I couldn't see there being anything different from the usual daily routine: Get up, go to work, cook, shop, clean, socialize, etc., etc. and eventually retire, grow old and die. Was I meant to live the rest of my days as a wife and mother... and maybe a grandmother? Was that the extent of my life? 

I must admit I was saddened by the thought, and more than a little shocked. There really wasn't a lot to complain about and many women live similar lives very contentedly, but I felt somehow dissatisfied with the prospect. 

At the time, I had no idea this thought would be a defining moment in my life. But the Universe conspired to answer my question a few short months later when, out of the blue, my husband unexpectedly told me he wanted a divorce! Even then I didn't connect the two events. In fact, it was years before I recognized the link between my question and my divorce. 

The fact of the matter is my life was transformed by those seemingly unrelated events. Before the ink was dry on the divorce papers, I found myself surrounded by a totally different group of people; I started meditating and reading every life-transforming book I could lay my hands on; I became interested in various new-age modalities such as Reiki and Subud; and I was eventually ordained a priest in the Order of Melchizadek. In short, I became a Seeker. 

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this would never have occurred if I had remained married. Did my husband unconsciously perform some soul-inspired act to push me out of the marriage in answer to my questions? I like to think so and have been duly grateful ever since the idea popped into my mind a few years later.

We never know the significance of outwardly irrelevant events. There's no way we can ever know the Big Picture and how those events will impact our life. It's been my experience that there is no such thing as a 'negative' experience. Sometimes it takes hindsight to recognize it, but everything that's ever happened in my life has been perfect... everything. 

I do my best to remember that when something happens that I immediately judge as bad. I try to look ahead a short while and imagine how this will turn out. Most often it's impossible to say, but just the conviction that everything will be OK brings me peace and allows me to look at the 'challenge' in a new light. 

That's my recommendation when (not if) you find yourself facing something 'negative.' It's all about perspective, not to mention how the Law of Attraction reflects our experience and our frame of mind back to us! And, who knows, it may be a defining moment in YOUR life!