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What's
in a Name?
by
Anyaa H'redulla
'Anyaa' is NOT the name my mother gave me… nor my father for that matter. He did however choose the name on my birth certificate… after that of a famous movie star, Myrna Loy.
When my parents brought me home from St. Martin’s Hospital in Bath, England shortly before the end of the war… that would be 1944 for any youngsters… I had no name. Various alternatives were discussed, but my parents could not come to a consensus.
Finally, my father pointed to a picture of a woman hanging on the living room wall and asked, “What’s her name?” It turned out to be a pencil drawing of Myrna Loy, which my uncle had drawn before he was killed at Dunkirk. If you’ve ever watched Saturday Night At The Movies you’ve probably seen her.
On learning her name, my father immediately wanted his first-born named after her and, consequently, Myrna Miles appears on my birth certificate. This was my 'maiden' name and the name I answered to for the first nineteen years of my life… until I met a local heartthrob and fell in love.
We married shortly after my nineteenth birthday and I became a Hollister. For the next twelve years this was who I was. About the time I was getting used to my new signature, we immigrated to Canada, and Calgary, Alberta became our new home.
Canada appeared to be a land of excess coming from England with its narrow, winding streets and small, economical cars. Everything seemed so huge here! This was 1964… the era of gas-guzzlers with fins.
My first daughter was born shortly after my twentieth birthday. Unfortunately, my marriage was abusive and did not last long so four years later I relocated to Edmonton.
Being a single parent was not easy without any family support, so we returned to England until my daughter grew up a little. But, in 1976, we returned to Canada. My sister had also immigrated to Calgary shortly after me and this is where she met her husband. They married and settled in Northern Ontario. My daughter and I joined them there and I ended up spending twenty-two years enduring the Northern Ontario winters.
Shortly after my arrival from England, I was introduced to my second husband and, with my ensuing marriage, my name changed again. This time I became a Stoodley. Two more daughters eventually joined five step-siblings, three cats, two dogs and two horses.
My stepchildren gradually left the nest; my eldest daughter went off to university; and my husband and I built a beautiful house on a lake. Everything seemed to be ‘normal,’ but on New Years Eve 1986, my husband announced that he wanted a divorce. This was a huge wakeup call for me, as it was the last thing I had ever imagined and it became the catalyst that changed my life.
With the end of my second marriage, I began to question life and my role in it. "Is this all there is?" had echoed in my mind shortly before our breakup and I firmly believe this was the beginning of my new journey. It seemed impossible that there shouldn't be 'something more,' but I had no idea what that 'something' could be - even if it existed.
There was an emptiness in me that I couldn't for the life of me describe. All I knew was that something was missing. Whether it was in me or my life... I didn't know.
I started meditating and devoured every self-help, personal development and spiritual book I could lay my hands on. I took workshops and learned various modalities. In short, I became a Seeker. Gradually, my perspective started to change, my life changed, and my friends changed.
At this point, I had been a Stoodley for more than twenty years, but I felt that person, the traditional wife and mother, no longer existed.
Who was I? I felt I was a different person and my name did not fit this new ‘self.’ I tried returning to my maiden name, but it had been more than thirty years since I had used it last and it felt alien to me.
Eventually, I learned about an organization called the Kabbalarian Society in Vancouver and I ordered a name report from them in 1997. One of the names they suggested for me, based on numerology, was Anyaa. I fell in love with it and eventually found the courage to ask my friends use it.
I had also 'received' the name H’redulla as my angelic name in three different meditations over a period of two years. I felt guided to use it as my last name and officially became Anyaa H’redulla in February 2001. It had taken five years to come to this decision.
How has this affected me? Well…
· Anyaa H’redulla spent six months in Thailand.
· Anyaa H’redulla made the choice not to work at a traditional job and became self-employed.
· Anyaa H’redulla became an author and started a self-publishing business.
· Anyaa H’redulla joined Toastmasters and began speaking in public.
· Anyaa H'redulla is devoting her life to supporting others on their own journey.
These are just a few of the things all the Myrnas would never have
done... or even thought of doing!
What's in a name? Each one fitted the role I played at that particular time in my life... and reflected that role beautifully. My name has always been a true reflection of ME. However, I love my current name, because it represents who I feel I am now, as well as the person I am becoming.
Changing my name was incredibly empowering and I highly recommend
it!
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This
reflection may be used
in your newsletter or on
your website as long as nothing is changed and
it appears with the
following credit:
Anyaa
H'redulla, The
Perseverer, has been on
a conscious spiritual
path for more than
twenty years and is the
author of Joy Makers:
My Tools for
Self-Empowerment available
at http://www.anyaahredulla.com
where she also shares
many of her personal
challenges and
encourages others to
pursue their dreams.
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